WAW/Affair Exposed - Advice? #3

[DCBHM]

This week has 3 of the replacement deposition dates. Then next Monday. Thus far I haven't heard anything from my L about W's attorney scheduling anything.

I know I called it early on in May... but to see her actually following the BPD textbook and not showing up for anything just confirms what I've thought all along.

Borrowing the following from "The ABCs of BPD":

For borderlines, admitting that anything about them is less than perfect - let alone acknowledging that they may have a personality disorder - can send them into a spiral of shame and self doubt.

Imagine feeling empty, virtually without a self. Now think about admitting that what little self you can recognize has something wrong with it. To many BPs, this is like ceasing to exist - a terrifying feeling for anyone.

To avoid this, borderlines employ a powerful and common defense mechanism: denial. They may maintain that nothing is wrong with them, despite clear evidence to the contrary. They would rather lose things very important to them - jobs, friends, and family - than lose themselves.

Basically I believe she is so afraid of the psych eval that she is denying any of this, divorce, etc. is even occurring right now. She hasn't acknowledged it, just continues along as if nothing is wrong. Acting as if she is divorced already and that our current "temporary" schedule is the way things will be forever.

I imagine she'll be as surprised as anyone if she loses custody, despite the fact she has done nothing to help herself retain it.