I'm just curious if perhaps, the shame or exposure can sort of get someone out of the fog and to the table and where you go from there makes the difference.
I'm not advocating, just interpreting. And I think this is a worthwhile topic.
I think that shame can rouse someone to some sort of objectivity. Once the person is seeing themselves and their behavior as destructive, hurtful and perhaps embarrassing, they are back in something closer to reality. The LBS pushing the shame, using it as a tool in the R is the kiss of death. I see both sides here and I bet like most things in life, depends on the sitch.
Now see there, aliveandkicking? You responded with clarity and objectivity! Apply that marvelous clarity and objectivity that you have, to your own situation! You can use this skill with others in their situations because you don't have the emotional investment in their situations like you do in yours! That's where detatchment in your own situation comes into play! By being 'detatched' in your own situation (which you CAN do) , you are then able to think more clearly and objectively about your own situation!
LOL...somehow I melt into emotional lava when it comes to my life...
