How are you enabling this? Do you think you can control the guy? Do you think you can control him by legally separating from him? Do you think you can control him by filing for divorce? YOU CAN'T CONTROL HIM! So don't bother trying!
Right now, keep working on yourself, and help the kids as much as possible. Real change and improvement on your end, that only comes with time and consistency, will manditorily change how he relates to you. It has to! Remember that with relationships between two people, if one person changes...the relationship changes! That's the dynamics of it. Have faith that it will get better.
You are a rock. You are steady and solid. Sometimes your emotions run away with you. Don't feel too bad about it either...it happens to all of us. Just resolve to get better at it. We can do this.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
