Wow..the text convo H and I just had back and forth is interesting given that I was just wanting some answers. I am TOTALLY spinning...emotional...and I don't know what else I am feeling and whether it is good or bad. Here's what literally just went down.
I texted H to tell him about the D6 thing in the morning since he didn't hear me over the phone earlier. He texted back saying he doesn't know if he can get outta work since it is so early in the morning and that he was upset about it. I told him I would take alot of pics. Then he texts "ok but still sad. how are you feeling?"
Me: "i guess you just felt so good today (whoa!) and it made me very emotional...it was weird. I am ok now."
H: "Ok...you still make me feel loved and I like that, there is nobody else...I'm just f*ed up and I'm sorry, I wish i wasn't. You don't deserve it you're amazing. thanks for being so good...u r the best Momma ever, and an amazing lover. I wish I knew..."
Me:"Thank you...you are loved. Just know that I am here for you when you are ready and need/want to talk."
H:"Thank you baby."
Then he told me he was crying. I said me too. He said again that he was f*ed up and I said why? he said because he left our family and he was sorry. I told him I forgave him already. I said no matter what I know in my heart we will be ok...time will tell and that everything is happening to us for a reason. He said thank you and I said goodnight.
I don't know what to think...I wanted to just tell him to come home then!! I hope I said the right things...I hope this means he is thinking about it. And now that I asked for answers and got something...I am still confused and obviously so is H. I think he needs more time, and I do too I suppose. This feels interesting in that I should be happy but don't want to. I worry he is getting closure. Man, AK I am stealing your term...this is ONE BIG mindf***!
