Bridgestone told me to "stay out of her head, unless she invites you there." I'd advise you to do the same. You can't figure him out right now, as he probably doesn't even know himself! The guy still cares about you, but he's conflicted. Stay buckled in for the long ride. "For better or worse...good times and bad...". He's at his 'worse' and 'bad' times right now. Now's when you show what kind of wife and mother you really are. Woman up! It might take longer, maybe a lot longer, but what's that over a lifetime? A drop in the bucket! Decide/figure out what you truly want...then commit to it. Be kind and compassionate. Model graciousness, dignity, and strength for your kids. Take the long-term view instead of the short-term view. Work hard to keep a positive state of mind, and cultivate the antidotes to anger...patience and tolerance. Your kids will learn crucial lessons in life by watching you. 25 says that 'love is a choice'. I myself find that keeping hope alive is a comfort...to know that I haven't abandoned her even if she has abandoned me. To know that I have committment is a big deal...it's something that I'm prouid of in myself...to hold out hope that things could change. I have made a firm committment to improve...and to show compassion. I know that it's hard to let things happen instead of us trying to force destiny and make it happen.
What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours...which do we want more of?
Giving our WAS forgiveness, time, and space to develop or recapture their sense of self-worth and individualism is the BEST thing we can do for our troubled relationship.
Don't believe anything he says right now. And keep yourself strong and healthy. And don't give in to despair, and don't give up on your marriage....if you really want to save your marriage, if you're willing to do whatever it takes in order to save your marriage, if you can persevere even when you feel like the situation is unfair, and if you can handle being the one who is working the hardest to keep the marriage from going down in flames.
Remember your good heart, aliveandkicking.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
