H just called to chat and see if I'm ok again. Said he knows I feel weird about him moving from place to place...I said "I don't know how I feel about it, how do you feel about it?"
He said he has gratitude because it is such a nice place...and it is only temporary (he is supposed to be subletting a place soon).
Am I ever supposed to be honest about what I think??????????
He also said it was so nice spending so much time with the kids and today was fun with me (H and I got into a water fight at a school event, people probably thought we were crazy in love)...
Anyway, he said he just wanted to check on me and I said that's nice of him.
Guys? What is going on?
Ok, so wanting to take stock and look at my sitch-
1) H has been back in town now for almost a week 2) H has twice sort of cajoled his way into sleeping here (with the kids) because he has no where to live (yes I allowed it). 3) H made it pretty clear that he has been intimate with woman/women or at least feels entitled to because we are separated. 4) H has made mention of how I look many times but there is a pretty thick wall between us physically...though today he came up and rubbed my shoulders and when he hugged me goodbye made it extra long...not sure I'm cool with it. 5) H has been extremely available to kids, lots of attention, gifts, time though not very conscious of what they are going through 6) Kids are very confused asking every time he leaves why he can't stay. Otherwise, they seem to be loving the family time and daddy time. 7) I have gone out a couple of times and been very discreet and GAL (but still ridiculously mentally distracted). 8) Have had a couple of awkward conversations (father's day plans, where he is going to live) where I automatically tear up...so I'm still super sensitive. 9) H is still bragging to everyone and anyone about his work and it is really transparent to anyone who has any sense. Also, it is not attractive or respectable to me. 10) H was over the top flirty today at school function 11) H headed off with duffle bag to go stay at super rich persons house. 12) We still have major debt to deal with 13) I need to determine what I can live with in terms of contact and friendiness. We spend sooo much time together 14) I have some interesting things coming up work-wise that are in sync with what I have been pondering...thanks universe...we'll see how it turns out but it is always nice when you are contemplating something and someone out of the blue suggests an opportunity. 15) I am recognizing that I may meet someone better suited for me though I want to work on myself for a while (just empowering to be able to see it) 16) I have been pondering suggesting marriage counseling or Retrouvaille. His words are consistently that he is done but his actions are so confusing. We have so much between us still, D makes no sense.
But, what do I make of this? How do I run my life like this? And, am I just being strung along? With my kids?
