I want to know why he doesn't ever talk about divorce. He has never told me he wants a divorce...but he obviously left me. I want to know if he really just needs time to figure out what he wants and if so HOW MUCH!!!!?? If he would just say those things I wouldn't have to wonder so much. I also want to know why he left me so abruptly and what his intentions are. I do realize that all of this is impatience talking, I guess I am just feeling nervous about the ML thing and that if I cut him off we will lose even that connection. But I know I can't let him cake eat. It just seems like he was opening up to the idea of spending more time with me...and being intimate. Being TOGETHER feels so good...but him leaving again and again feels SO bad. I feel like I am gaining my footing in some aspects. I keep reminding myself that everytime I feel like this is the worst turn of events, something surprises me and picks me back up and I can feel positive again. The things that I feel have changed inside me so far are that I am no longer feeling as desperate. My sense of humor is back...I am laughing more. I am beginning to imagine my life without him more often. I am starting to believe what I know in my heart and what the real truth about this situation is and that is that if my H REALLY loses me one day, it is the biggest mistake he will make in this life. I know I have my faults...as we all do... I have alot going for me though and I take IMMENSE pride in the fact that I can literally and honestly say that there is not ONE person on this earth who would tell H that he should leave me. I know people will tell him that he should do what he needs to do to be happy...but the fact that not one person in our lives can or would have a reason to say "oh yeah...he should have left that b!@#$ a long time ago!" I feel that this site and everyone here has given me confidence in that especially when I read things like the advice to "be a woman only a fool would leave". I remember that and think about it everday. Venting tonight...
