I find it odd that your W is telling the children about a DisneyWorld trip when she hasn't got the job in the bag yet.
That is my W for you. She's been like that ever since I've known her.
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I'm not so sure you shouldn't go --- gives you more opportunity to show your better self and spend time with the kids (why should they have this experience without their dad, after all, and it's more memories to build on that doesn't include the OM).
In the state my W is in, she has COMPLETELY separated co-parent from lover. I don't need to convince her I'm a good parent, and I don't need to add more awesome family memories to our legacy. It just doesn't matter to her in regards to her and my R. At least that's how it looks to me.
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In small ways you can remind your wife that you and her are the only ones who can ever know the feelings and memories of when your children were born --- that is strong stuff for a woman --- be careful with it, though. OM doesn't have that in his arsenal, now does he?
I think she knows this, she just doesn't care enough about it to change her mind. Blows me away, as those memories bond me to her so strongly that I can't conceive she doesn't feel the same way. I have to face reality though. She doesn't.
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You do have to stop worrying about OM. Pretend he does not exist.
