Sandi I could NEVER be upset with you. I hope you dont think I am, you are being so nice to take time to try and help me through a difficult time. Before I contacted you I actually was going to take a break from these boards because I was afraid I was letting them give me too much hope and holding me back from moving forward, but then I was reading one of your posts and thought maybe I should talk to you first, and I am glad I did. You already have helped me more than you know. Sandi, yes it's only been 6 months since I was divorced and only 8 months since he left, but I feel like I am not moving quick enough. I want to be over this already, but 20 years is a long time...I cant seem to get past that I lived with this man for 20 years and feel like I didnt even know him. I feel like my whole marriage has been a lie, and that hurts more than anything. That along with his anger toward me and him saying he wanted to pretend like I was dead to him. I could take the divorce, but I am the mother of his child and he owes me respect for that in itself. I dont know if you read, but I really did some pretty stupid things in the beginning, such as begging him to come home and begging him to just see me on lunch. BUT the worse thing I did was stalk him. Yes I would try to catch him and see who he had at his house and try to talk to that girl. I did this with one girl in particular and he really wanted to date her but when she talked to me she dumped him. That is when I was trying to do things myself instead of letting go and letting GOD. I would never do that now. Thats why I tried to people here that I have moved on, I am not doing CRAZY stuff like that anymore.lol I know that is why my xh doesnt trust me and I would like to win his trust back. But I do think this gf is telling him not to talk to me also, I could be wrong. I wont go into all that. Anyway I do appreciate all that you are doing. I am not the best to post about stuff so maybe everyone didnt realize that I was trying to GAL. I know I have made Snodderly upset with me, I know she got tired of telling me the same thing over and over. She wont even post to me now. I really respected what she had to say and I hope she isnt too upset with me. I was reading what you posted about one poster wanting to know about MLC or WAS. Sandi, does it matter how we respond to them if they are just WAS? This is one of the things I have wondered. I know my xh walked away, but I also believe he is in a MLC. Either way, like you said, he is gone. For how long, only GOD knows. Like I said I pray for my family daily or try to. I also pray for people here.
I also wanted to ask you Sandi about your stitch. Were you a LBS or did you walk away? Are you and your h back together and how long were you apart? I would love to read about your stitch. It seems you know so much. Snodderly has also been here a long time, I think at least 9 years. I have heard that alot of xh's, h's wake up after the LBS has moved on. I had heard that alot before I even come here. I dont know what will happen with my stitch but I am trying to move on with my life regardless, I really have no choice. I do love GOD with all my heart and trust him with my life. With that said, I will go for now and talk to you later.
HUGS, Renee
P.S. Snodderly if you read this I hope you will post to me again. I know you are only trying to help me. And I thank you for that.
