Yes AAK, it does. I am trying to move myself there. I don't know what has been holding me. For a while I thought it was stength, faith in us, that some how if it didn't feel right to go there than it must not be right....
but I am starting for feel like I might be missing the capacity to say enough is enough. I mean, what would be the difference though...look where we are. We have no marriage right now, have not for going on 5 months. I get no support or even kindness from him. Maybe I need to see that I am divorced and not feel like the paper work is taking a step, that we are already there.
I don't know why I haven't gotten there. I try to really undertand, am I scared, stuburn, what is it...
you are right though. I need to face whatever it is in the face, go to the place where D is not something I want to put off or avoid.
even fairly recently we had nicer conversations on the phone. He never really reached out or seemed to waiver on his feelings for me...but there was a kindness there at times, I would feel glimmers of him, the him I knew...but tonight, it was just something else in itself.
when you said you stood and faced the idea of D full on, can you describe how you did that, what it felt like?
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
