I think I take your point. Just read a book called "Blue Like Jazz" you may find helpful. Very intellectually provacative and got me thinking a lot about my faith, in a good way.
Anyhow, I will process. But I think we agree that shaming them into coming home, will not result in the restoration of a marriage that either of us would consider a Godly or happy marriage. Point is, who wants to come home to a judgmental or smug LBSer with their arms crossed? Not many. Of the ones who do meekly come back crawling, I don't see that as really "choosing" to work on the M, or as very likely to last. And I think it ultimately leads to deep resentment on the part of the "wayward spouse" plus it CAN lead to the LBSer not taking any ownership of the problems in the M. Both of which are not too great.
The book I just mentioned has gotten me to recall that my scripture quoting brother, almost always quotes scripture to win an argument, not welcome someone into God's arms. That troubles me a lot and I realized how much that relates to what we SOMETIMES do here. Hence my interest in the topic and realizations I discussed with a good DB coach. (Not directing the comments at you specifically, fyi) Anyhow, have a good night all.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
