Cat, Thank you so much for your insights/advice - it has been so helpful! And I can't believe the timing of your last post - I don't believe in coincidences. I woke up this morning being so grateful for the positive changes I have seen but then so discouraged that it is one step forward two steps back. So seeing this post was a great encouragement to me. I have read those stages by Hearts Blessing. In fact, that was what really gave me a lot of insight into the situation a few weeks ago. I too think for most it is not that cut and dried and the time lines are all over the place.
I think my husband is/has bouncing between replay, withdrawal, and the depression for a few weeks now. The replay MAY be slowing up a bit which would be nice. That is the wackiest stuff. The fact that he hasn't been going through this as long as most seem to makes me wonder about the positive changes and, like you, I just want my husband to be whole and happy again. If he doesn't completely "finish" this it sounds like it may cause bigger problems down the line.
Again, I am going to try to be grateful for the positives and glimpses of my "old" H that are peeking through the fog and just keep focusing on me and the kids and trying to make our lives as balanced and happy as I can. This journey is h$ll but I am grateful for positive changes in me. We got married young and for the first time probably in our marriage I have finally learned in the past few months that I am NOT an extension of my husband, I am NOT responsible for his choices, and my self esteem is NOT dependent on him.
And I am glad I am finally moving from faking it to making it.:)
