Well it looks like my W was concerned that I hadn't been expressing my feelings. I guess that means she does care. Her email sounds like she is confused. ie.. what is the point of talking.. then saying I wish you would communicate your feelings.. then saying I don't mean to be cold but I feel like I have no choice. So that is my big 180 there to actually express my feelings when I get the chance to talk to her.
I think you are right about something coming up that brought the twins back into a blending state. Like I said they did develop separate identities in college and while the SIL was dating her H. But now I remember some pics that my W shows me where they looked as kids with exactly the same clothes, hairstyle, etc.
Anyway, I agree I don't need to go dark but maybe communicate with my wife in different mediums (email instead of texts, etc.) AS for LRT's I am not sure. Obviously one of them is giving space and not actively pursuing. I have a session with a DB coach soon so maybe I can ask her.
They haven't done any GAL over anything they already did. Their days/nights pretty much are work, errands, go to parents on Sunday twice a month, and outdoor activity after work, wife works out for a while after outdoor activity, then they get on internet play on facebook (to mainly correspond with old college friends or family) or online scrabble while tv is on. They may play some xbox games or do baking or cooking (mainly W.. I got her into that) during the weekend to change things up a little. My W is an artist too but it seems like her output is varied as it always has been. Since our separation they had friends over once. The last time they had friends over before that were out of town friends during the holidays to meet me. Anyway, on the more recent time they had friends over The SIL stayed up very late with them and my W went to bed earlier. My SIL and I had a convo about that recently. It looks like they had fun but I am sure that any activity like that will continue to be few and far between. The only other person that came over was my friend every two weeks our so to see SIL but now that apparently has ended. Incidently that friend didn't really meet SIL until after BIL's death. They started talking about 2 months ago.
Anyway, thank you for your input. I haven't gotten much output from other ppl on here I guess since it is such a different situation. Would anyone on here that has a W with a twin whose H committed suicide raise their hand? Yah I didn't think so.. heheh..
I am glad I am seeing an IC too. It is probably imperative with my ADHD and communication issues. Not only that over the last few weeks I have been feeling more PTSD type symptoms over BIL. I am remembering what transpired on that day between SIL's H mother and dad (divorced) arguing and blaming each other while we were all watching in shock and horror. The mother blamed the dad and was laying blame on BIL's brother too while the police were trying to calm her down. It was heart breaking to watch. I am also picturing what the aftermath of his suicide looked like and what my SIL walked into and her reaction. If I am having these symptoms I can only imagine what my W feels. I did have these symptoms a lot just after and they subsided. They are happening again perhaps from the stress of separation, perhaps because it around the halfway mark til Nov when it happened, or perhaps I am wondering just how much this has to do with the way my W is treating me. I don't know I will bring it up to my IC when I see him next.
