Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

Ok, so today is Sunday, and I've got tons of things to do around the house. Also, I'm trying to get not only my regular weekly Sunday chores done, but also tons of extra projects that have cropped up that need to be done...some fun hobbyish sorts of things, some not so fun like itemizing the rest of the rummage sale stuff and pack it into boxes to have a charitable organzation pick up.

I'm glad I have a lot to do because, frankly, I'm anxious for my H to come home from a weekend away. He was at a somewhat distant family members wedding alone yesterday and I'm wondering how he dealt with it, becasue I went to a close friends wedding LAST Sunday, and it was super hard to keep my cool.

I hope at least one person asked where I was or if he didn't just get married himself recently or something like that. I shouldn't be the only one having to feel like a toad and sheepishly say that I'm going through "Rough times" right now. I hate that I still care though, but part of it is spiteful, because it truly wasn't easy holding my head up high last weekend at the wedding, and since he's the one initiaing this D, I hope he should feel that at least a bit. He DESERVES to feel that way, because I still believe in love and marriage, it's not my fault that I unknowingly picked a loser who doesn't truly believe in them like I do.

I did a great job of it last Sunday during the wedding festivities though, and held myself together. Today, I'm trying to do these projects and chores not because they will make my H realize that I do keep my word and do what I say I'm going to do, (which, I'll admit, his opinion still matters to me too much), but also because I truly want to do these things, and not just to cause friction or make drama. For example, painting the garage door. I'm trying to get this first cleaned, then scraped and painted because it frankly looks like crap. Half of the paint is gone, flaked off, and if I was our neighbors, I'd be ticked off cause it looks somewhat derelict. However, the rest of the garage, thank god, is done in aluminum siding, so only the door looks crappy. So I went to the home store with literally flaked off pieces of paint, and I got them to color match it with a nice, exterior paint that has built in primer, so I don't have to worry about that part. I'm anxious to get this started before he comes home because if I start it, he'll "let" me finish it, but other wise he will complain and say that I'm making one more job for him (because I could never do it right of course), or that I did it "wrong".

He is so black and white on things, it makes me CRAZY sometimes!! I really do want to avoid the drama, so I'm going to get out there now and do the washing of the door with the solution, so it has plenty of time to dry so I can start painting before he comes home. I think I've got about 3 hours before then, so I'm good. One shouldn't have to constantly worry about what their H or W is thinking about stupid projects like this, when frankly, even if I do the worst job in the world, it will look better than the crap it is now currently...for god's sake! I'm trying not to care what he thinks but at the same time avoid oonfrontation, so I'd better get going quick.