hi my w has filed 4 d im talking to a dbc which has been great but there is to much time in between im hoping to find help here im tring to use the 180 but keep having fall back can someone help me
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
You've come to the right site. This place will provide support and encouragement for you. Everyone here is experiencing the same kind of heartbreak that you are going through.
First off, you can start your own thread and give us some more background of your situation. Give advice and encouragement to other threads as well. We are all in the same boat.
Next, start reading Divorce Remedy if you haven't. Like this site, it will become your lifesaver.
Lastly, know that you are not alone and you will get though this stronger. Be kind to yourself. This is all about you saving yourself. All the spouses that are left behind, including myself, we all hope for reconciliation. But we know we have to be of the mindset that if we end up divorced, we'll be okay.
I've only been separated for a few weeks. I cry every day. I fake being happy. I'm in the process of GAL(getting a life). But I really don't have any other option. I do this so I can survive! And I know that things will eventually get better for me. That I will survive and be a stronger person regardless if my H comes back or not.
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 3 1/2 weeks ago No D filed
thank u 4 the response im not vary good on computers so please 4give me my w and kids did it 4 me and they r not here . like i said im tring to do the 180 last night i told my w i went to eat and watch the basketball game with some friends she got really upset and wanted 2 know if there were girls there . when just the day b4 she told me she wanted 2b d as soon as she could so she could start 2 date again
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
Hang in there girl...I am on your emotional wavelength, for sure!
Fell of the wagon with the goals the past few days...been busy with activities and seeing some family and friends which has been good but for some reason did not override the feelings of loneliness and "missing him" that have come knocking on my door again. It almost seems like, if I do something new, fun, or something I am proud of, I feel it, but immediately think, wish I could tell him about it, share this. Its not that I need his approval or validation, I just liked sharing things like that with him, and valued his perspective, the conversations we would have.
One thing, regarding how famiy can incrase likelihood of divorce...I don't think you can worry too much about that because 1) we can't control it, 2) you never know what they are saying...they might tell him is being ridiculous and throwing away marriage for short sighted reasons 3) you never know how these WAHs will react to things...if the family encourages or discourages the divoce, they sometimes like to do the opposite of anything people tell them makes sense! So really, I think that family influence, while a concern, is just one other up in the air variable in all this.
I don't know. Trying to work up some positive perspective for you since I can't seem to do it for myself today :-)
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
When I was getting ready to go out tonight, I noticed that the divorce petition packet was gone. My H must have taken it the last time he was over here. A month before we separated, he had copied them from the website and had threatened to file when we had arguments. I assumed he wasn't going to file because he said he just wanted lots of space right now during this separation. I did call the courthouse after he left for LA and was told that no D petition had been filed by him. Now I'm worried sick that he's going to file after he gets back from LA since he took the packet with him the last time he was here.
I hate the situation I'm in-being in limbo!!! I just don't understand my H's behavior. I thought he loved me! I love him more and am in love with him. The day before the bomb, we were actually intimate. (He was such an incredible lover) I know we had our issues and he had been unhappy for awhile, but to leave me the following night just because I said I hate him while I was drunk and getting sick? I really don't recall telling him I hate him, and I apologized. I'm a lightweight, I rarely have too much to drink!
It's just not fair. All I ever wanted was to be happily married and have a child. I've already been divorced. I don't want to go through that again!!!
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 3 1/2 weeks ago No D filed
I understand your worry about H possibly filing the D papers, but y'know you can't control that... so you need to really, really just focus on what you can control! Be good to yourself, stay busy and try not to worry about the rest.
Something that's stuck with me is a stat that 1/3 of all filed D's are never finalized. So, that's encouraging to me.
Maybe set some goals for yourself... what do you want to do this weekend that support your GAL plan?
i love my kids and when my w moved out i have been tring 2 spend as much time as i can with them. my oldest 14 will not talk 2 me. the 3 younger ones love it and i tell them i love them alot more now.my w said i need 2 stop that im making it harder on them. she also said it makes her mad that i didnt make these changes b4
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
Yesterday I cleaned the house, took my dog for a walk in the mountains, and in the evening went to a friend's barbeque and had a good time.
But I'm having a difficult time accepting the reality I am not sharing my life with H and stepson anymore and that I am alone. I am around people throughout the day while I GAL and keep busy and active. But I often find myself wallowing in my self-pity when I'm alone in the house. I can be watching a movie, have my favorite music turned up, be cleaning, cooking etc and I still become self-absorbed with what I'm missing, what I don't have. It's not that I don't enjoy my own company, I just prefer to share my life with someone. I miss my H. more everyday.
Even if just for today, I wish I didn't miss him anymore.
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 4 weeks ago No D filed
