H is gone for a while. Minutes before he left he mentioned an idea he had for an improvement. Then he said if I was going to have anyone work on it he gave details how to do it. It is a great idea! He also initiated a hug. woweee. First hug or almost any touch since April.
I have a full schedule as well as my own list of things of my own ideas to accomplish. In the old days when we were 'partners' I would put his ideas first and 'getrdone'. My limited time and resources now for projects only goes so far.
Now I'm wondering if I fall back into the trap of putting H and his ideas first, or add his projects to the list and do them in order, or let him detail and arrange his projects himself when he returns.
The real surprise here is that he shared an idea with me, he is doing that a little more often. Maybe just to pacify me and keep feeding me crumbs and using me while he keeps building his secret life. I just don't know and get very confused by my oscillating feelings.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
