You are right, I am primarily trying to stay dark, I think thats my best course at this point. But I guess what I am unsure about regarding the 180 is that 1 week ago my H. and I talked by phone regarding a financial issue. Now you know our history of me taking care of those things and how he avoided, would say he was going to be more proactive and never did. I know that this, ironically, contributed to him feeling less than in the dynamic of our relationship.
When we talked last week by phone I gently but firmly told him that when he avoids communication with me about this financial issue, I have no way of knowing his intentions...it seems like he is skipping out on them. He seemed to respond to my calm manner and "I" statements and told me that he was sorry, he understood, and said that he was just embarrassed that he was still having trouble with this "behavior change" to be proactive instead of reactive when something needs to be addressed related to finances. I validating his feelings and did not push the issue on, just asked him to email me this week and let me know the status of things. He told me what he was going to do about it and I said, fine, no problem, just please email me regardless to let me know where it stands. He agreed. And now, I haven't heard a word from him. Its more of the same. I believe he genuniely means what he says when he says it, but the more I see he not be able to follow through with even small promises, the more I feel like my patience is going to run out. I don't want it to, but I can't keep feeling let down like this....I'm asking him for nothing right now, other than common curteosy.
So I'm wondering if I need to change my response to be a bit more assertive and address this with him...I don't want it to turn into me pointing out his shortcoming in this area but I also feel very disrespected that he can't even follow through with sending a small email.
I appreciate your advice to treat him like a casual friend. That is a good guideline for my interaction.
Thanks again so much. I hope you are feeling well.
Last edited by traveldane; 06/14/0901:17 PM.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
