Yes, it has been a really tough time through our R, esp when he was drinking so much and I couldn't say anything to anyone. He was treating me poorly and I couldn't say anything again.
But for the most part I think everyone just wants us to be ok - whatever it takes. Most people know the problem he has and try to be supportive. No one asks questions to protect our privacy which is nice. Living under a microscope is hard when things aren't good.
Things have been ok this weekend - some tension arose, things didn't go his way, and I just stuck to the issue, he caught himself and withdrew from further comments. Turned out ok. Grad may be tense when he is around the family, but d did some outreach with him so he would feel part of things. I was proud of her actions.
I have to admit that I am not looking forward to grad when they start to recall memories of the past four years. When my s grad I was reminded of all the bad memories with my R, so I expect this to come up again. H is aware - we talked about it last night. I didn't want make him uncomfortable in front of everyone without the ability to talk it through - this should help. Also, H doesn't like my exh because of how used to treat me - hasn't gotten to the point of realizing everyone has their problems - and he has to let go that stuff.
