Ok...Sandi, this one is for you (mom, lol). First, I do post the same stuff over and over, I do realize this SOMETIMES, sometimes I do not because my memory is shot and I dont know how to find or post my past threads. Also, I try to update everyone I talk to because I dont know who reads my posts or not. If you met me in person, I am one of those people who makes a short story looooonggg. I talk, talk, and talk. I also repeat myself in real life, I think my memory has been affected by this and I am NOT joking. I have even apoligzed in some posts for this. So forgive me please. I will try and go back and re-read my posts. Also, I dont mean to ignore what you asked me to do, if I did, I am SORRY. I am very glad you are taking the time to help me as I was with others here such as Snodderly. I am sure Snodderly as well as others is just plain fed up with me, they think I am going nowhere real fast. As in the above post to you and Kimmie, maybe I DONT understand what is needed of me other than GAL, which I am doing. Maybe I am not communicating enought about that. I will try better to do that also. Sandi, I do have days now and then that I feel stronger, the sing and dance kind of days. It's the anger that my xh has that sets me back. I can handle the divorce but not the anger. Can you tell me if there is anything I can do to make it easier for the both of us and our son. I dont want to have to walk around town on pins and needles worrying about bumping into him in the same restaurant and him getting an epo because he thinks I planned it. He says he learned from the best at playing games and the best was "me". He says he doesnt trust me. Please tell me how to drop the rope, as they say. I dont want to be stuck. How can I let go of what has happened. What kind of small goals are you talking about, am I not doing enough already. Yes others have told me the same thing as you, but let me say this...I thought that It was ok to come here to talk about xh. I thought this board was about trying to save your marriage. I KNOW that I am divorced already, but I didnt get the chance to DB. I didnt find this board until I was already divorced (I think), and even though I am divorced I am still trying to stand for my family. I am trying to go on with my life, while leaving the door ajar. I pray about it and I dont feel like GOD has said to let go yet, I just dont. No matter what my xh says, or anyone else. I will keep praying for my family. Now, this does not mean I will not GAL and move on daily. Yes I need to get stronger and yes I need to drop the rope for now and that I am trying to do with people like yourself helping to teach me how. Honestly I did not know I was repeating myself as bad as you all say. I also dont want to drown in my sorrow. Sandi, I wanted to ask you, in your opinion, how much farther along this path should I be by now. Am i really that far behind, should I have been alot better by now. I know everyone is different, but I see people here talking like me that has been in this for 2 years or longer. I am just now right at 6 months divorced. I didnt think I was doing that bad.
So....my question for you is what are your plans to do in order to change that?
I honestly dont know what else I can do other than what I am doing, except maybe stop talking about my xh as much on this board, and really I thought I could do that. I am soooo confused. I am sorry.
So that is what I need to know, sweetie. Have you done anything that I suggested or anyone else has tried to get you to do?
The mirror thing no, but I will start. Other than that just the stuff that I listed above.
