Divorce looming #14

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

CityGirl - Great dog story! I think we can all see ourselves at some point as one of the people or the dog itself!

Kev- frankly, I want to shake you...all these people are giving you great advice and instead, you keep doing and thinking the same old same old.

You've got a start, with the goals, but whoever said that you need to break them down more is 100% right. Also, don't continue to put yourself on the back burner, make your fitness goal one of the active goals for now! Not only will it help you get more get up and go, but it will help with the stress and get you looking and feeling more confident.

Someone also mentioned that if your wife died, eventually you would move on. Well, how bout thinking if YOU died...what do you want to do before your life ends? You don't want to be like my grandparents, who both lived to their 90's (and beyond, grandma is 93!) who regretted not travelling more when they were physically able to 30 years ago. They were always so worried about money that they did't get out and see things. Now, my grandma has nothing BUT time, to think about what she has missed out on because she didn't take that chance.

When I wrote my "Master To Do List" before I die, I thought it would be kind of cool to do a marathon. Then I thought, why not now - you never know when you're going to die usually, and better sooner than later. Now, I was about 75+ lbs above my target weight at this time, and a non-athlete. But I got this goal in my head after I saw my wretched drivers license renewal picture of me at this weight and began to use my treadmill more and more. Once I could run for 4 miles, I decided I could actually think about a marathon, 26.2 miles, if I had professional training to help me get there. Oprah did it, why can't I?

So I joined the Team In Training program for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, whose goal is to train almost anyone to run or walk a marathon (also have bike races and triatholons).
You fundraise for the LLS, they train you during group runs once a week and set up a great training schedule for you to do during the week on your own. They also give you advice about everything from shoes to which stretches work, and insider things from applying loads of Body Glide to combat friction, to "Ice Baths" when you hit above 14 miles during your weekly long run. It opened up a whole new world for me. That sounds super corny, but it did, and I officially became, for the first time in my life, an athlete!

There were some people that were very skeptical, one openly so, a coworker of mine. Little did I know, but he became one of my best cheerleaders as time went on and he saw me working so hard at this goal. I found that not only writing this goal down, but asking all my coworkers, friends and family for donations to the LLS and making a large donation myself, all helped me put so much skin in the game, that there was no way I could blow it off or slack off the training.

And you know what, I raised all the money needed (several thousand) and then some, and I did cross the finish line by the skin of my teeth, but I did do it. The whole process of training, then completing the marathon was incredibly life changing for me. The TNT coaches kept making me achieve small goals every week: I would run farther than I ever had before in my life and set a new "personal best". It made me feel like I could do anything I set my mind to, and was something I think everyone needs to feel at least once in your life!

Since then, I've done a few half marathons as well as another whole marathon, shaving more than an hour off my initial time, since I have since continued to lose more weight and had more time training. No one can ever take away the satisfaction I felt reaching that goal, and getting my fat butt moving every day because I knew I was running for people too sick to even get out of bed cause they were battling Leukemias or Lymphomas.

It's pretty damn hard to feel self pity for yourself when you see all the people in a marathon pushing beyond what they ever would have dreamed possible. They are bleeding, limping, crying, but damnit, they will finish this race no matter what happens! You need something that important outside your wife and kids right now. Something that critical if you don't do it, you will be forever haunted by the "what if's".

There was a woman in a walker who finished before me and humbled me even more than those long miles did. If she can do it and work through the pain, all of us can.

You don't have to run a marathon to get this feeling, but you need to figure out what it is that you are totally passionate about and throw yourself into it 100%. Make an outrageous goal like I did -whether it is learning how to ride a horse, backpack in the Andes, mine for gold, skydive or rappel down a mountain, who knows?, but guess what, I did it for myself and feel great about it and so can you.