my story... finally

[BeingMe]

I find it odd that your W is telling the children about a DisneyWorld trip when she hasn't got the job in the bag yet. Far better to wait and be sure. But, that's just me. I'm not so sure you shouldn't go --- gives you more opportunity to show your better self and spend time with the kids (why should they have this experience without their dad, after all, and it's more memories to build on that doesn't include the OM). I also still don't think you should initiate any R chat, unless she does and then just let her know you understand --- not necessarily agree, but understand. You can still be fairly gray by going off with your son while on the trip, then going with your daughter for a daddy/daughter date. Be around W as little as possible --- just meals, for example. (In small ways you can remind your wife that you and her are the only ones who can ever know the feelings and memories of when your children were born --- that is strong stuff for a woman --- be careful with it, though. OM doesn't have that in his arsenal, now does he?!) You do have to stop worrying about OM. Pretend he does not exist.

Just some thoughts here. Remember to be the greener grass. Take care.