Just because it happened in the past and it was over and done with doesn't mean that you have no right to feeling betrayed and angry as a result. You just found this out recently so of course you are feeling those doubts now.
It is perfectly reasonable to want to hold your emotions back. Maybe as punishment, maybe not, maybe just as a sign of caution because let's face it, he betrayed your trust. So of course you would be weary of putting your 100% trust in this man who has a poor track record.
Now the good news is the transparency and the fact that he came clean. BTW, are you sure?
You have every right to feel the feelings you are experiencing and if he really do love you and want to work on this marriage, then you guys need to talk about your VERY VALID feelings and work on them TOGETHER. Not as a sign of punishment. Just validation, acknowledgement and then and only then, will you feel safe again to trust this man.
Time alone will not fix things. Building trust again. Following through on big and small things. Doing exactly what he says he's going to do. That is what will fix your R. If he doesn't acknowledge that and feels persecuted, then you have another kettle of fish in your hands and you need C to deal with those issues.
Is that more clear?
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
