"amen" to ALL that CG said. But Kev, so now you see how you enable this behavior. IT has of course been shown to you 30 times before, and you said you understood, you say you "get it"...so I'm left wondering what, IF ANYTHING, you will do about it...
I don't have a problem with your activities like playing poker, (assuming you aren't betting your rent money) if other people are involved and you actually like it, as opposed to trying to pass the time as if you are in a waiting room waiting for the doctor (wife) to come in....OR any other fun activity you actually like doing and are not doing simply in lieu of drinking.
But the BIG picture is that you need to alter your view of life and yourself, and take charge of your life and I think some of us felt that poker was a bit superficial if that's what you call GAL.... It's not a bad thing to do, but it's a bandaid for a sucking chest wound.
GAL means the c you will finally start seeing, and probably some type of schooling or NEW thing, I'm not sure but I know it will involve some other LIFE CHANGING event that helps you take charge of your life, and be a new man, and not say things like "I can't be happy without my w"....(do you cry or whimper at the poker games? Oh, wait, you have some fun? Then stop saying you can't be happy without her...it's weak and not even true.)
...ALL the rest of stuff you are still doing, like buying her a b-day present and knowing you are not going to be part of her birthday (@#$%^&*(!!!) and constantly standing around, figuratively, and literally, waiting to be invited (OR HUGGED!--unbelievable!), and such, has been covered ad nauseum, so I won't bother repeating myself AGAIN. Geez.
But I don't think she invites you ONLY to use you. I think she also pities you. So there's that. If this comforts you, so be it.
She is actually being pretty darn CLEAR about the boudaries- mother's day and father's day stuff being family things you are allowed to attend, and some women would not want their ex's to come for mother's day, but she said yes so good for her. BUT no, you are not invited to her birthday as she wants to divorce you and b/c you are NOT part of her private or personal life as a woman anymore, you are ONLY a co-parent....(and then sometimes the errand boy too.)
in fairness to her, It's hard to resist dumping on someone who will take it like you do AND besides, maybe she feels owed by you b/c of all the trouble she feels you caused her. This is her payback maybe. SO in her mind you deserve to be a whipping boy, and on the other hand, she feels like she's being nice to you by taking pity on you for those other events and truth be told, she could be worse.
Why must you keep saying "don't thank me" when you take the girls on her time without any notice? Just accept the thanks, and stop arguing about it. You made your point, and now you sound goofy and obnoxious about saying how "important your kids are that of course you'll drop everything to be with them"--like drop what? YOU HAVE NO OTHER LIFE AND YOU MAKE THAT CLEAR TO HER EVERY CHANCE YOU GET. Accept the thanks. Besides, in reality you are giving her a shot by saying YOU'D drop everything for the kids but you imply that she won't....and you seem to envy or resent that she has friends and activities planned. If you like target shooting, why don't you do it too? You oohed and ahhed that she is doing that. You seem amazed that she could come up with something TO DO that does not revolve around the same old thing. You can do it too you know. Did you do that as a kid? Or go fishing? Anything? I bet you did SOMETHING as a child that was fun. And you do have a brother too. And a sil and a niece and a father. Call them sometime to say hi and reach out to THEM.
Anyhow Father's day is coming (call YOUR dad too) so just try to enjoy the fact that you helped make two great people in this world. Focus ONLY ON THAT for the day please. There are a lot of people who wish they had those gifts. And give your w'sb-day gift to someone else, like your girls, or better yet buy yourself something, like one of the umpteen books we have all suggested you read and read one of them.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
