I've been spending all this time getting my house ready to sell.. so much work, so much clutter tossed.. so much cleaning going on.. and I'm in a much better place now. I spent the entire day cleaning all the screens (lots of dust from wood floors put in, refinishing etc), my son washed the windows and cleaned the frames, my daughter treated them with lemon oil. Guess what? I can see clearly now.. it sparkles.
It had stayed dirty so long because I wasn't really sure about the right way to clean the screens, to do the whole process. I tried but it never completely worked, then I ignored it even though I hated how they looked. Today I googled all the ways to clean them, found a way I could do it.. and went for it.
Growing through this is a lot like my window/screen experience. The fear of not doing it right kept me from trying it at all. When I was unsuccessful I saw myself as a failure and dropped all motivation. Now I educate myself, try it and get help doing it.
Whatever you and your spouse agree to, make sure it feels right for the Beautiful Heart who's emerged with the sure confident stride. It doesn't have to be perfect, just keeps the momentum.
Where does it all start for you?
Why not at friendship? You have a great bullsh*t meter and know your inner voice. It's a different world where you're both equals. I loved reading "Codependent No More".. goodness, it described me to a T.. I was shocked.
A relationship is based on sharing, on being involved with each other and maintaining healthy boundaries. And it's a two way street.
The parameters you've set are great. About your spouse's friend... What Hope4us wrote a great suggestion. What does your inner voice say?
