No, there hasn't been that time except for last weekend when i had the kids. As it is right now H has the kids Tues.and Thurs. after school. Then we are switching off every other weekend. This weekend he has them. Yesterday when he came to pick them up he comes in, talks to me for awhile (I was getting ready to go out with my girlfriend for the night) and lays down on the couch and takes a nap!!! My friend was here getting ready too and we were excited, trying on outfits, getting all fancy and having fun. H stayed until after we left. We went out and had a GREAT time. My friend is so much fun we laughed until we peed!!! (not literally!) We met some of her friends and went bar hoppin'! I didn't drink too much this time, lol! We ended up staying the night at her friends house because we were about an hour and a half away. We got up this morning and went to breakfast and drove home. On the way hom H called to "see if I was ok". He asked all about our night, whether we had a "mellow night or a crazy night". I said it was pretty crazy! He then invited us to go to breakfast with him and the kids. I said no thanks, we already ate. And then I said "well, have a good day. I will talk to ya later!"
I can't believe he asked me to come to breakfast...and that I turned him down. Probably a good move, but it is scary to turn him down when it is the first time he invited me somewhere. I feel like he is going to be mad. I know that is silly...I KNOW!!!!! Anyway, I am not contacting again until tomorrow when I will be getting the kids.
I am going out with some friends tonight...to listen to some live music. Should be fun.

My game plan is to just DB for now. I think I have been doing a pretty good job, despite a couple minor setbacks. I will never be able to go dark completely and so when I do talk to him and see him my plan is to always look great and be upbeat. I really don't know what else to do. When the time is right we are going to have to make some decisions financially, and re: my place of residence. And I think that is when my boundaries have to set in. When I get a new place H will not have access to coming over whenever and napping at my house.

I have genuinely felt lately that I have let him go. I still get sad and VERY nostalgic. I still worry, get anxious about it all, and wonder if I am doing the right things. And I obviously have ML to him twice. I just realize that I am happy when I take the high road...when I get along with H and I feel as though we are truly re-establishing our friendship because I have knocked down my defenses. I have let alot of things go and I have opened up to him so that he knows I love him unconditionally without me having to say it. I feel in my sitch, it is essential that we get along without fighting...so that he continues to come to ME when he needs something. I am keeping my eye on the prize. I do NOT want to mess this up, and if setting boundaries helps my sitch, so I will do it!!!

I am going to re-read DR for the zillionth time and hopefully figure out a more detailed plan. I wish the book had more ideas on how to balance the techniques and make sure that you are not getting taken advantage of in the meantime...