Well, I think I am going to have to have a little cry today. Its been an ok day, but I am really just feeling alone. There is a crazy loud rowdy party going on at the pool in my apartment complex. Thank god I did not take the apartment facing the pool. I can hear them all the way clear on the other side of the building complex. Its worrisome. I don't really like this...it seems very juvenile...but, whatever, I guess I am in my apartment and I should make some plans for this wonderful saturday night.
I went looking for a bed and it was depressing to be buying a bed for myself......... by myself. I hated the feeling and got teary and had to just walk out of the showroom. I went to the grocery store, bought a ton of junk food and well...here I am.
I can watch tv, read my novel and take a bath, or start studying for my exam, or watch a movie. All things that can keep me busy. Sigh. When will these feelings just go away....
Sometimes, its so hard to hope and keep faith and just believe. It seems so much easier to just give in to the despair. But even doing that does NOT make it better!
Ok....gotta get thru this evening and tomorrow.....I think I am going to read my novel.....That should be a great escape for now.
