Just stopping in to journal and give myself a 2x4 before I head out with a friend for some beers and night out listening to an old friends band.
Wife was here when I got home getting ready to meet SIL, SIL's sister and the other girls for a night out.
Her and text boy seem have become much more careful about contact as my snooping has not turned up anything lately....slowly putting that to rest as right now, it just doesn't matter much to me.
I asked her point blank if she knew yet when he was coming to town and if she was planning on being with him tonight. According to her he will be near here next weekend visiting family and not sure how long he is staying yet.
Funny how the conversation started so matter of fact...me asking my wife about her OM...crazy stuff.
Me, of course, as the DB rules seem to be flying right out the window turned it into an R talk, and all that got me was eye rolling and her reminder of what she had already told me about the last 14 months being for me...because she cared about me..worried about me.
Yes, I told her I still loved her, and that given the time, I would still be willing to give the marriage another chance...blah, blah, blah....won't happen again any time soon.
Tonight it was almost as though I just needed to hear it one more time, see the eyes roll and her look of complete detachment on her face.
Although I am still on the fence, for the first time this year I am understanding detachment. I seem to want this to lead me to a point where I don't want her...don't think I need her in my life, but I guess not ready to close the door yet.
Oh well...like I said...I have already given myself the 2x4.
