Newcomer requesting advice

[traveldane]

thanks Sandi. you encouragement is so appreciated.

i am wondering if you can speculate some more insight-

trying to understanding if I am dealing with depressed husband, walk away syndrome, or possibly MLC with depression thrown in. hoping to figure our most likely what I am dealing with, then know how best to respond.

Of course I think my H is depressed, but wonder if that is just related to him being in crisises over deciding to leave our marriage. Wonder if it could be slight MLC because the things he wants to do right now include hanging out with younger colleagues (including OW) and his statements about wanting no obligations, etc.

He never said ILYBNILWY. He said he felt like his feelings for me are gone beacuse of the bad arguing that occured last fall (when he was withdrawing from me) and that he could never feel good about himself for the mistakes that he made in dealing with things. He has said that he doesn't love me, that our relationship is beyond the point of repair, for him.

I just returned to D.C. to retrieve my things from the storage unit. I somehow have a feeling that while he said by phone last week "maybe we could get to gether while you are here to talk a little bit", I doubt he will call or initiate contact with me. I think I am out of sight, out of mind for him at this point. I feel that I can't believe anything he says he will do big or small. He told me last time we talked that he would email me this week regarding some financial issues, stated the he realized that his avoidant behavior created problems in the long term and that he was trying to change that. But here we are at the end of the week and he hasn't followed through with emailing (shocker). So I don't know why I think he will initate a get to gether.

I am trying very hard to stay dark, visit my friends while I am here in town, then get the hell out. I knew it wold be hard to come back to our home city, but wasn't anticipating it feeling so awful. I just wish I could know what is real with him...is he going through a crisis, midlife or otherwise, is he working on himself, as he says he is, or is is detached, moving on, blowing smoke up my behind, and just lazy about the divorce. The worst part about this whole thing is that he used to be such a person of integrity, and now I can believe a thing he says. His word means little more than nothing anymore.

Ah well. Got lots to do here, just need to focus on taking care of business and moving forward with my own stuff.