Wish I could read her mind (9) >>>>

[steady]

Although as I sat at the house with her last night, I felt myself looking at her, finally, in a different light.

Those feelings of wanting to go to her, fix her and make this all go away are leaving me. I thought about the past year and the closeness, and right then, last night I could not feel that desire to hold her, kiss her...be with her..

Perfectly normal. It took me a while to get to this point. It's like this most of the time for me now. There are times that feeling of wanting to be close again come, but they are brief and infrequent

What is going through my mind more as the days go by is the logistics of this whole mess....the house, the finances..the dog..the cars...the reality of it all instead of the emotions.

Focus on this stuff. It will keep your mind off everything else and keep you focused on yourself. Work on your plan, work on ideas for things you always wanted to do for YOU. I came up with a list of things I wanted to do/try - skydive, snorkel, rock climb, kayak, cooking class, etc... I am working my way through the list one at a time and adding new things as I go.

She has been under the impression that I was going to lay down and roll over for her when the time comes. Who knows what her reaction will be when she doesn't get what she was promised.

Same thing in my sitch. My W had a picture in her mind (fantasy) of how it all was 'supposed' to go. I would leave, give her the house and kids, take a minimum of money, giver her half my net income, kiss her ass, become 'best buds' and keep doing stuff for her. Well it didn't quite work out that way. She thought I'd be out by Easter - lol. She'll be lucky if we're done by Christmas at the rate it's moving. She wasn't very happy when I didn't roll over, and she's not happy how things are moving and her control attempts keep backfiring on her.

Be careful. My W reacted very agressively when she realized she wasnt' going to get the picture she envisioned. Just make sure you protect yourself.

Tim, you can do this. I know you can. You've improved yourself immensely.

It's funny, but a few weeks after my W rebombed I got the feeling the D was more for me than her. I never got a life and din't have one in the marriage. Now it's time for me to do that. Who knows, maybe my W and I will cross paths again, maybe not. But I do know this - I am a better man, a better person, a better father because of all of this and the work I did. So are you. If not with my W, then some other woman is going to be lucky enought to land me.

We can all give our opinions, but in the end you have to make the choice that is right for you on how to handle your current sitch. You're the one that has to live with your choices - make sure it's a choice you can later on have no regrets about. (if that's even possible)

Please keep us updated.

One other thing - detach....