I can't say I see the attraction to your H. But take the focus off him and put it on you.
You are not in any position to make a decision about your M right now. You are too exhausted and too fragile emotionally.
Quit making excuses and take a break. There are many very inexpensive ways to get away for a few days. Let me know if you need suggestions.
What have you done to reduce your commitments and emotional overhead to better take care of you right now?
Perhaps the time to try to talk to him is not when he is yelling at you, but when he has calmed down. But that seems to be precisely when you decide not to talk to him...
