The affair happened in October of 2007 (started and ended in same month). He was going to tell me in Dec 07, but then my mother suddenedly died. He vowed then not to tell me for a year, so I didn't find out until Dec 08.
He says he knew it was wrong and that is why he ended it. He also told me he had no contact with OW since then, however, I discovered they had a business dinner in April 08. He is convinced it never happened even though the evidence which he can't deny shows it happened. I personally think he has blocked that meeting from his memory because I honestly think he doesn't think she was there. He's supposed to start IC counseling next month, but I don't think he has found anyone yet.
Anyway, back to me, after Mom died, I started IC and ended it in Jan 09 (even though the A had only been revealed 2 months prior). I wasn't getting a lot out of it anymore and my H and I started MC. That lasted through February. Our marriage actually was back on the right track by then. I hate the fact that Mom had to die for that to happen, but I can't change that. H and I were having great discussions and he was completely honest about the whole affair. He did all the right things - complete transparency, answered all questions without hiding anything, etc.
I know our M will work if I let it. I jsut feel like I'm holding back now. Perhaps I want to punish him. Sometimes I feel like I was never really able to get mad at what happened because it was 14 months after the fact when I found out. Yes,I was angry, but I never really expressed it. How could I since everything was already over and done? If I do it now, I look like I'm just trying to punish him for an old crime. So instead, I just trying to doubt what he says now since I was so gullible and beleived it all before.
