mike/phx - I'm sorry to read about your sitch. To find out your W has been lying and keeping so much from you hurts so much.
I think you're going to need some time to process all of this... how you are feeling today is different than you may feel next week. I would suggest you pull out DR again and read and re-read the chapter on A's. I'm not an expert, but yes, I think you go dark now. Take that time to work on yourself and take care of yourself... and give W time to process what's occurred as well.
Sorry you're having to go through this. It just plain stinks!
