Golfing With Monkeys

[Concerned_Listener]

Matilda and Jak,
I met with my IC yesterday and he also validates that I made the right decision to not accompany my W to Puerto Rico this summer. He said that it is not my role to fill her need for a companion. She needs to show interest in restoring the M, and acknowledge her role in the problems. He thinks I'm doing a better job at setting boundaries.

He also supports my decisions to not invite my W with me to dance lessons or the venues I go to. It's OK to protect my space and not have relational problems taint my evening. She can go to any venue I go to independently, and drive herself. I would still dance with her, but would not consider her my partner for the evening.

I noted and he validated that I feel a twinge of sadness that I have to enforce such boundaries. I feel badly leaving her at home, when I know she wants to join me, but letting her come would not move the R forward.

I've been having some back problems for a few weeks. Maybe the stress of the situation is part of the problem. I'm having trouble sitting on soft chairs or any chair for any length of time. It seems like the entire area around the lower back and buttocks is inflamed. There is frequent pain extending down into the buttocks, following periods of sitting or inactivity. Walking, dancing, or lying down seem to help. I have a job that requires a great deal of sitting, so that may also conribute to the problem. Advancing age also plays a role. The problem is more annoying than debilitating. I'm still able to dance, but fatigue more quickly.

I found an alternative medicine book for back problems and have started taking fish oil, 2000 mg. daily, Tumeric, 400 mg. twice daily, and will add Bromelain, 1000 mg. daily all to manage inflammation. I see a chiropractor weekly. I've started walking my dog almost daily to strengthen the legs and back. I've increased the amount of yoga stretching I do, and target the lower back and legs more.

I hope this works, and hope that the problem is mainly muscular. I trying to keep this from becoming a serious problem. I've heard about more serious back problems, that I want to avoid, where the pain is more intense, and people are immobilized. I may add glucosamine at some point due to my age.

CL