The funny thing about cliches is the nugget of truth behind them all.
"children are resilient, they'll be fine"
Would you want them to be worse? Kids, adults adapt. First you learn to survive then thrive.
"time is your best friend and your worst enemy"
Limbo land is a terrible place to be, the waiting takes its own toll. Action builds growth.
"you have a choice"
You can do whatever you want to do. It's the 'whatever' that's tough.
"the glass is half full"
The glass is full.. of water, air.. things you can and cannot see. However, I've always hated that one.
"you will find someone else"
Yep.. this one sucks. What does finding someone else mean when the focus is on keeping the children whole. Then again when you do find someone else, the focus goes outward, forward, not inward.
"the kids will figure it out one day"
And they do.. it's human nature. There's no reason to tell them the injustice. After all, saying bad things about their parent always comes back to bit you in the ass."
"you need to move on"
How is that different than detaching?"
"its only money"
One thing I learned is that material goods are 'stuff'. The intangibles.. the love of your children, being with them, being a good person.. that makes life worthwhile.
Knowing that 'it's only money' let's you know when it's time to walk away.
"what she does is none of your business"
You have no control over what she does. If you focus on her (or him) you give them prime real estate in your brain then all that good energy in you is wasted and drains you.
"be strong"
Yep.. what would you rather be? What works better.. being stronger or weaker?
"let go"
Look what clinging got you.. Oh here's a new one: "Treat him/her like a dog that broke free of its leash. It's going to run away, like the wind but it always returns."
"your lawyer needs to know that"
That's a new one. You control how much your lawyer knows.
"are you seeing a counselor for that"
Everyone has to process trauma that goes on with living. Would you rather do it early on with the right tools working with an unbiased professional or roll the dice. If your leg breaks, do you set it yourself? What's wrong with giving your psyche the same respect and care?
"society is not to blame for any of this its the individual"
What in the heck does that mean (and that's new one)? Some trends are good.. some are not so good.. some are just plain unfair. It is amazing how quickly a marriage becomes a financial statement once a spouse decides they want out. How delicate relationships really are.
"you must carry your cross"
Oh goodness, just shoot me now! If you're living a life of regrets, by all means carry that cross and make sure it has plenty of splinters! You choose your own happiness and/or level of misery.
"its OK for the ex to be with an OP in front of the kids as long as she's happy"
You have no control over her actions.
"you need to be happy"
Well.. needing to be happy is not an absolute.. and you choose daily how you feel.
"life is short"
Our life is a blink in the eye for those big ole redwood trees, and eons compared to a mosquito's. What you do is all your choice. ...
The one I used to hate the most was "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I listen to the nuggets of truth around me, try to grow and thrive.
*hugs*
...sending caring, support, empathy and the strength to carry on to the Smiley Man...
