QUESTIONS WE ALL HAVE ABOUT THE AFFAIR... and ANSWERED.

1) Do they love them more than they did me?
No. They are infatuated however, and probably the last time they were infatuated was 20 years ago. Infatuation is a strong emotion. Remember your first? right. Imagine that all over again. Now. dont be jealous. its not that great to be 'infatuated' as an adult and acting like an idiot. People will go to great lengths for the 'fantasy' for their feelings.

2) Is the sex better? is it all about the sex?
yes and no. the sex is NEW. not better. stop beating yourself up thinking your a dud in bed. no, your just OLD in bed. but in truth, the lovemaking you had had history. so you want to know heres how it is: its exciting with a new person because its all new. but the old partner had all our buttons down. TRUTH. so stop comparing. or wondering.

3) What do they see in him/her?
They see someone who thinks they are fantastic. great; sexy amazing and smart. They see someone they dont know very well and feel desperate to know every single inch of them (refer to infatuation.) They like the mystery, the newness, more than anything. but heres the REAL ANSWER: they can reinvent themselves and be someone else. NICE, when you have been sick of who you are for years. they can be DIFFERENT.

4) What does he/she see in HIM/HER?
someone to save most likely. Dont kid yourself, the OP isnt an evil being. Your spouse has lied to to them a lot and cried on their shoulder and told a lot of fibs about how hard done by and misunderstood and ignored they are, to justify why they are there, with them, and NOT with their spouse. This OP truly beleives you dont appreciate them, know them, or care except for yourself. this OP truly thinks that your spouse deserves to be 'appreciated'. They feel quite justified; if you had loved them better it wouldnt have happened - its not their fault. their mantra is "your marriage was in trouble before I came along". the fact they're right does cause a bit of a sting. but dont be fooled, it doesnt take away what they did.

WILL IT LAST?
Probably not. But I wouldnt hold my breath waiting. The average is 2 years but 5 is not rare. However in MOST Cases, during the 2 to 5 year mark theres no longer YOU to blame anymore and the excitement has died down a lot. The spouse doesnt need 'saving' from you anymore - your probably long gone. What generally happens is, boredom sets in. Lets face it an affair and then a marriage/family breakup is really exciting. Rather humdrum after thats all gone. The OP often ends up running away with an old friend actually. (they were both really surprised!)

IF MY SPOUSE CHEATED ON ME WILL THEY EVER COME BACK?
depends and its individual. Some dont. the shame can keep many away from even trying. even after its long over. So, theres often not much point in holding on for the breakup. After that happens they generally just have double heartache to get over - the one with you they never faced, and now this.

IF THEY CHEATED ONCE WILL THEY AGAIN?
two answers to this. one is YES some will because a line was crossed and guess what the world didnt end. one is NO because so much pain was experienced they wont be touching that stove again. You have to make up your own mind. Certainly cheating with no consquences would lead to more cheating.

When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.