Chronic illness adding to marriage problems

[Gardener]

Hi, L&C
I'm new here, too and I know the hold-your-breath moment of hitting "send" on your first soul-baring post and waiting and...nothing(?)

Give it and us time. Even when no one replies immediately, we're reading (just look at the 'Views' column), commiserating, and learning from you.

I'm sorry about your illness. Others with the same experience can and will say more than I can on that.

I do identify with your HD predicament. With two in college and one 16y/o (learning to drive...gives me shivers remembering going through that with my four), I assume H is in early 40s at least. How about a physical with blood workup including Free Testosterone Levels. Plummeting T levels affect more than just libido, like overall vitality, eliminating covert depression, strength of heart beat/contraction and so much more. I began taking topical bio-identical Testosterone, 2 yrs ago and it worked wonders ("I remember this guy," quoteth The Gardener at the time).

L&C, don't scream (but you know that). Anger fills a room like no other emotion. Think of your screaming as firing a shotgun. Startled innocent bystanders (like 16 y/o) who get hit hit with "only" 10 or 12 pellets of shot take small comfort from your explanation that you were "aiming" at H.

Anger is often just crudely disguised pain, and always the result of not accepting what is (reality). How futile is that?

That's all I got at this hour, L&C. Hope it helps. If it's any consolation, all of us newbies - and many veterans - are L&C, too