And if one more person tells me " oh they'll be fine" I'll throttle them. Three adult children of divorce laid that on me this week, but their experiences are 20 or 30 years in the past, so I find their glib assurances highly suspect. And, when pressed, the woman I lunched with today admitted she hasn't had a successful long-term relationship as an adult because "if you can't trust your parents, who can you trust?" and now she can't trust men - and inevitably picks the ones who leave.
So f**k that.
That has irked me so much. Better to be real about what it is so it can be dealt with. Anyone who says that sh*t to me immediately loses credibility...
AND, many people go through gnarly sh*t as children...I guess we have to, as parents, guide and love them through it. I struggle to not see my kids as "damaged"...I want to accept them fully and know that this is part of their path.
But, it does them no good to put on a happy face and be glib IMO. Just like my father dying, I've told my kids, "It was hard, but I got through it."
Do not underestimate how lucky they are to have you, so strong, so loving and so present for them. TCB.
