Mishka - he was able to remove me from the policy because he was the primary policy holder - also I think because he told the insurance company that we were divorced!!! and in my state if you live at separate addresses you can't share a policy. I'm going to insist that he continue paying for my new policy though since I can't afford it. Even if I have to take him to court to force the issue. I've been reading a lot of the other posts here, especially in the newcomers forum. I realize now I made some mistakes that certainly if they didn't lead to his bomb, they kept me in the dark that it was on the way. I should have questioned when his visits started becoming more and more infrequent, WHY he wasn't coming out as much. But, truth be told, I had neither the strength nor the energy to do so until pretty much this past year. And by the time I was finally getting back on my feet, the infrequent visits had already become status quo and the couple of times I "rocked the boat" by asking him about the future, it caused such grief that I stopped asking. In December of 2007, he told me he was considering filing for divorce so he could "move on" with his life because I was holding him back, but he never filed and he never brought it up again so I thought he had changed his mind. It was only when my DR told me I could resume a "normal" life again that he told me he was happy with his life as it was now and didn't want the responsibility of living with a wife and child again. After more than 5 years, I'm used to not living with him, I have no doubt that I can move on and create a life of my own without him, just me and our son. But it just breaks my heart how it is hurting our boy! He misses his father so much despite the fact that in his entire 6 years of life he has maybe spent a total of 6 months in his father's company. I know my husband thinks that if we get back together, he will have to make an effort to be at home with us, which he thinks would interfere with his workaholic lifestyle (this is a man who works 80-100 hours a week and travels frequently). And I don't think he can break free of his workaholism, because his mother has told me in the past that he was a workaholic even when he was 16 years old working his first crappy summer job at a convenience store. He's got this incredible need to prove something to somebody (his mother I think), but I don't know why he feels that only working crazy hours can do it. He's never been hard up for cash in his life (his dad always made good money and so does he) so it's not a money worry. Sometimes I think he just doesn't know any better because his dad was the same way (and so is his brother). And he and his brother have never been able to do anything quite "good enough" to satisfy their controlling, perfectionist mother. I remember when we first got married (and when BIL got married as well), my FIL telling us to move as far away as we could if we didn't want my MIL to undermine and destroy our marriages. BIL and his wife were smart enough to listen - they moved all the way across country and only come home for Christmas now! We got away for a few years, and they were the best years of our marriage - but then FIL got cancer and that brought us back home because H was really close to FIL (who died 2 years ago now). As soon as we moved back home, MIL started using every excuse in the book to have my H over to their house w/out me, and she would keep inviting his ex-GF from high school to be there at the same time he was. She LOVES his ex-GF and hates me simply because I am not her. This crazy woman even set it up that the ex-GF was the stripper who performed at my H's bachelor party - I'm not sure to this day if he slept with her that night or not although she says he did - but then she wants us to split as well b/c she still wants him back. I knew that having H live with his parents while I was recovering from my illness was not a great idea - but since I had no choice but to move back in with my parents, who live too far from where he works, I guess he felt moving in with his parents was his best option. I obviously can't be sure, but I have a nagging feeling that MIL and the ex-GF are probably behind H not wanting to get back together. I just don't understand why, if that is the case, he doesn't just tell me that he wants a divorce. Unless he is afraid of the court deciding against him having any decent visitation but still having to pay a lot of CS and alimony (which I'm almost sure to get b/c of my disability). My mom has been tracking his visits in her journal (as well as the times he has promised to visit and never shown up) and the fact that he hardly ever visits us anymore is NOT going to look good to a family court judge.
