So, just ignore his comment about XH taking care of Marc. I agree that saying much about it probably wouldn't be productive, but some people can't help themselves, lol.
Regardless of why Gabe does things for you, it really is not good for you to have him involved in your life like that. Why not let him do things for you? It is keeping your lives enmeshed in an unhealthy way. It is keeping you stuck and stressing you out. If you really consider his labor is a service in lieu of child support, then count it formally as such. This would change the dynamic to make it a business matter. Agree on a cost for the service (if it is one you want), say $200, and deduct that from his child support bill. And, if he shows up and does things without your permission, that is really messed up. He should not have that kind of access to your life or your household. You both need to start acting like you are divorced.
However you want to classify it, the kind and level of communication between the two of you is beyond what is required for business and it is clearly not good for you.
As for the glasses, WHO CARES what he was trying to accomplish? It is irrelevant to your life, isn't it? WHO KNOWS anyway? I would have thought he said that his GF paid for them so that you wouldn't think he had money. But, whatever. It really simply does not matter.
You are totally right that treating him with anger or disrespect is not productive. That is one reason why it is better to change your current level of communication. It is making you angry. The anger will out, one way or another, whether you take it out on him or damage yourself by holding it in.
There is nothing mean or unfriendly about being businesslike. Indeed, being businesslike requires politeness, respect, and putting emotions like anger to the side.
Look, I KNOW from where you are, it feels like you've separated your life from his, but from here it is easy to see all the very thick ties that are keeping your lives intertwined.
Suppose that you still harbor a tiny hope of reconcilliation, you may be loathe to break those ties. But, it is precisely in breaking those ties that you will find your best chances for a healthy parenting R or even reconciliation. And, no matter what, moving forward to your own great life means breaking those ties for your own sake.
