With all due respect, EO, that's bull$hit. And it's typical infidelity "script" to boot. You showed that you weren't willing to live in an open marriage? And there's supposedly something WRONG about that, that it makes him "afraid" of you??? WTF???
Well, truth dart time, honey: "If it scares you that I would stand up for myself and not be willing to live with an open marriage, then that's your issue, not mine."
I've studied affairs for three years now -- thousands of them. I would estimate that in 98% of them that were exposed, the cheating spouse says "Well, NOW you BLEW it!! I WAS thinking about getting back together, but YOU CAN FORGET THAT NOW!!!" . . . or something VERY similar to it.
Honestly, can't these people come up with something ORIGINAL at least???
Puppy
LOL - Puppy! Preach on! Yes, he says a lot of BS things, is passive/aggressive, sends me confusing signals, still wants to comfort me and says he cares about me, that this decision and place he is in is painful for him too, on and on... But I was pretty mean when I lashed out at the therapist in public, that scared him. I also yelled at him this week, saying that I would turn our son against him. I seriously can't seem to bite my tongue. I apologized and said that I would never really do that. Again, I say things in the heat of anger that I regret. Gotta avoid the conflicts, my number one problem.
While it is not a justification for my hurtful words, my pain is still so raw. I've endured 3 years of his emotional abuse and felt victimized even before he dropped the bomb. A person can only take so much. I'm not one to bury my feelings, so they have exploded I guess. Not pretty.
I'm just not getting what nut to crack here... H says the EAs are just blips in an otherwise long history of being unhappy, way too many conflicts, financial betrayals that changed the course of his life for the worst, and on and on. It's a big "S*&$ sandwich," to use his words and he wants to take back control of his life to make it happy. Yes, I know that is typical affair garbage. But we did have conflict for years before the EAs. We've been together for 21 YEARS, married for 17 YEARS and we are only 39 and 41.
Gonna take your advice, Puppy, and just GAL... Be the best eternal optimist I can be.
The EAs just made our bad marriage worse.
Last edited by eternaloptimist; 06/12/0907:12 PM.
Me 39, H 41 M 17, T 21 Son, 4 Bomb 2.09, Two EAs Separated 8.4.09 My Long Story and First Postings
