I'm going to force myself to go downtown to one of the bars and order a beer and hamburger this evening. We moved to this small resort town a month ago and I don't know too many people. But I really need to get out there and meet new people.
After reading the posts of traveldane and orchid, I felt comforted knowing that I'm not the only one who really isn't feeling any better than when our H's first left. When it first happened, I was in complete shock and couldn't sleep or eat for a week. Now I feel like I'm just in a different room of the house of misery and loneliness. The harsh and brutal reality of my life without him floods my mind almost every moment of every day. There are times when I think I'm starting to feel a little better, but then later I'm back to that aching yearning to be with him again.
I've often wondered if things happen in one's life for a reason, if there is a reason that this is happening to me and so many others.
Every day I think my new life is going to get easier, but it really doesn't.
My worst fear is that he will come back from LA and file for D. In the first chapter of DR, Michelle talks about how the WAS's family can increase the odds of a divorce. Also, both H and I have been divorced before, and divorce rates for people who've been divorced before are 60%.
I guess I'm being quite pessimistic today. I need to stop fearing and obsessing and at least fake being happy and carefree.
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 3 1/2 weeks ago No D filed