Feeling so hopeless b/c we just got back from MC session that was a train wreck. Our MC is pushing us towards divorce. H still didn't want to talk about the therapist with our MC as part of the EA probably b/c he's still worried it might cost her her job. So that tells me he DOES NOT know she has already lost it. MC doesn't attempt to explore why H wants a divorce; she more or less just says I should respect his decision and not push for him to work on anything. He just feels that the marriage has come to an end. Period. Should we find a new MC?
In my opinion, yes. Not sure if your insurance or an employee EAP program is paying for these sessions or you're having to pay cash, but why invest money and time into counseling that is not pro-marriage??
Your husband saying he's "never been happy" is just basic script -- re-writing of marital history is what they call it, and it happens in nearly 100% of affairs. I wouldn't pay much attention to that, although I know it hurts.
Look, you don't need to do ANYTHING today. Just try to detach, and do some GAL stuff for yourself. You're going to need to re-charge your batteries for any potential blowback that comes once he finds out OW lost her job. For now, learn the fine art of "I'm sorry you feel that way," and DON'T feel like you have to have all (or even ANY) answers for him.
Puppy
Hi, Puppy. ((HUG)) You and Kittyfish have been such a support for me. Such a low day for me. I know rule number one---don't give up hope. Hard today...
I've got great health insurance but haven't been able to find any MC that is pro-marriage in my area. Our MC today said, "Well, even when you guys were here 2 yrs. ago, your marriage was tenuous." Ugh. I felt outnumbered and bombarded by the pro-divorce sentiments.
I have been focusing on the fact that we will be in the same house for the next year (which gives me time to DB) b/c we have no other choice in terms of finances, my job, son's school/daycare, etc. I thought H agreed to this. But now it came out in MC that H feels trapped by this scenario, so this will lead to conflict I guess and that is what he's afraid of.
Well, I'm off to GAL... Going to the beach for a week! Happy Weekend to anyone who's been keeping up with my threads and thanks for all of the support here.
Me 39, H 41 M 17, T 21 Son, 4 Bomb 2.09, Two EAs Separated 8.4.09 My Long Story and First Postings
