Forget about what he wants. What do YOU want. And I'm not just talking about you wanting your M.
What do you want in your life. Take care of yourself first. If your H still wants to mess around, draw that boundary and tell him that it is not acceptable for you and he needs to get his butt out.
Dress well, look great, boost your confidence. Do that as a 180. If he wants to stay lost in the fog, that's up to him. But your thinking is as clear as day. Enjoy the time with your son.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.