Me too. ....and tell me, why can't I stand up, smile AND tell her to GTFO?
I am still alive folks.
Bill and Deb...don't you dare apologize for speaking your mind and offering an opinion...thank you for being there.
Down, Steady, Puppy, Phoenix, Tim, Coach, Peace, Forrest, Kitty...if I missed anyone I'm sorry....thank you all...thanks for caring..thanks for posting.
I am still doing this day to day...a couple short conversations with my wife about the sitch and a reminder to her that I will not stand back and allow things to unfold the way she had planned.
I told her I will not stand back and wonder who, where and when...and left it at that for the time being.
24 hours...48 hours...as hard as it is, still, to process this..I thought more clearly yesterday for the first time and realize it's only been about about 48 hours since the actual talk and her confirmation of the EA.
There is still a tug of war going on between the anger, mourning and grief.
I have decided that there will be no leaving on my part, but have not come up with enough strength to get to "GTFO".
To keep this short for now, I really just wanted to say thanks to everyone...and Steady..you're right..I do need you guys now more than ever....but I also find myself dwelling when I come here, and that's not good either.
One thing I did want to remind you all of, is...remember I have about 14 months under my belt with the sitch, and over a year on the board.
When I repeated what my wife had told me, I was painfully aware that was not the same woman I thought she was a few months ago. I am also painfully aware that I can no longer believe anything she tells me, or trust her to do the right thing.
But...there is no hate....maybe that will come with the anger and more info and more acts from her that show me who she has become...maybe not.
To me, she is not a slut or lying whore who has been screwing around my back for the past year...or 20 years.
Someone once said on this board "we were each 100% responsible for our 50% of the marriage"...neither of us took much pride in our respective halves for a lot of years.
In NO WAY am I condoning or making excuses for her recent actions, but remember..there is a beginning and an end to everything...her inappropriate behavior had a beginning. It did not start 48 hours ago when we talked, and it certainly did not start 20 years ago when we first said "I do".
