You may find out later that it was just a trap and he hasn't done anything with anyone.
This is what I thought because he is so wishy washy and all over the place about it but then that is what people do when they are guilty too. Honestly, I don't care that much right now unless there is a specific significant other. I mean it hurts, but my focus is what comes next.
Quote:
set the boundary and MEAN IT.
Ok, so what is the boundary? And how is it set?
Really, what is my leverage?
I need to make some choices that are specific here because telling him no sex with other women while we're married when he doesn't see us as really married anymore, does what? What is my or else?
I think my focus needs to be how I can function with some degree of self-respect and sanity. For example, I need a certain amount of notice as to what hours he will be here and he can ask me if he wants to have someone over and how late they will be here. Of course this comes off as controlling but I need to have some space. In the beginning of sep, I had boundaries and he was going crazy trying to access me and what I was doing.
Here's what is going for us in the tiny shred of a marriage we have left-
he still cares what I think he still wants to be around me a lot he still wants to talk about R and make it make sense (needs to heal too)
I can give you 10 negatives for every positive but this is THE defining moment of my life as of yet.
So, choices, boundaries. I am giving myself three days to make some concrete decisions...
He is IMing me right now...I have so much fear when we communicate. He asked how I'm feeling, I don't know how to be honest.
Please, please, check on me these next few days. I know it sounds pathetic but I can't talk to anyone else about this given what has come out. And, I really need the support.
Thanks.
Holy smokes- basically i said i am good but tired. he said he's tired too. i said ya, it is a lot...he said "I don't know when life got so f'ing overwhelming"...
I said, that i feel that and it has been a lot...
Why does that feel so liberating? Whatever comes out of this, I love him, I appreciate him and I am sad that it was so hard...
