Pretty funny. You say I'm doing so well in my situation, but I'm not getting any action! LOL!
I don't think it's bad to remind your H of what he's giving up, but it has to be kept to an extreme minimum. You want him wanting you, but NOT getting you. At some point, you'll have to put the big wall up and say NO MORE! If he wants to move on and leave you, then he has to live with the consequences.
Thanks future! I know, I was talking to my best friend tonight and we discussed that. That it is ok to get some...for a time, then it is like you have to set the boundary and cut it off. She just assured me that the process is just that, a process. And she promised to bang me over the head with a big 2x4 if I am still in the same place as time goes on. As for you, patience is so important. I think the ML actually complicates things for me a little (although I am happy about it, no regrets) just in that I am not sure how to go to the next phase of DBing. But I was back on it today...no contact. H called and I didn't answer...a couple hours later I texted to and said simlpy "you called? what's up?" And he just got back to me saying that he called to see if he could take my car to get new tires and the oil changed and that I could drive his truck for a couple days. Hmm? I don't know...feels like positive stuff, but I am not getting my hopes up! WALKING VERY CAUTIOUSLY HERE!!!!!! Still praying and reading DB!!!!
I had a backslide tonight and am feeling worried. Nothing big, but I had a few drinks at a friends house H and had to come and get me. My friend offered to take me home but he insisted on coming to get me. He said he would come and get me across the country if he had to but he was in a hurry and had to be somewhere, and he was very irritated at having to come and get me. It didn't make much sense. I was upset because it was H's night with the girls and he was rushing me which he realized and apologized for. The problem is, I do not remember what was said. I don't think I said anything about R...but now that I think about it I wish I hadn't had him pick me up...and I feel silly. Like I took a couple of steps backward for some reason. I really only had 2 glasses of wine, but I have not been drinking at all, and was pretty messed up for some reason. Ugh.
Try not to obsess too much about it. What's done is done and we've all had too much to drink at times. My memory goes too. I'd send him a quick note and say something like 'sorry about last night but thanks for bringing me home. Hope you were able to get on and enjoy your night'. Just to clear the air. You'll worry less as time goes on about it.
It's nice he came to get you. He may have been irritated, but he's the one that made the choice to come get you. Don't feel bad because he didn't have to do that.
I had a backslide tonight and am feeling worried. Nothing big, but I had a few drinks at a friends house H and had to come and get me. My friend offered to take me home but he insisted on coming to get me. He said he would come and get me across the country if he had to but he was in a hurry and had to be somewhere, and he was very irritated at having to come and get me. It didn't make much sense. I was upset because it was H's night with the girls and he was rushing me which he realized and apologized for. The problem is, I do not remember what was said. I don't think I said anything about R...but now that I think about it I wish I hadn't had him pick me up...and I feel silly. Like I took a couple of steps backward for some reason. I really only had 2 glasses of wine, but I have not been drinking at all, and was pretty messed up for some reason. Ugh.
Hey,
It's over and done....Forget about it. Chances are he has too..
If he brings it up, then apologize. If not ? Let it go.
Offering an upfront apology will make you appear clingy. It was HIS decision to pick you up, so it must not have bothered him too much....
Water under the bridge, I just don't understand how he knew to pick you up, that is the real backslide. You still going dim/dark. Has there been a 48 hour period that you have not had contact with him, either verbal or physical.
Time to come up with a game plan and start to at least to attempt to stick with it, what is your gameplan?
hey guys...will give an update when I have more time...I was just checking in here quick as I have been off GAL!!! Just to clarify, H was waiting for me to come home so he could drop off the kids. I was at my friends house and H texted me to see when I would be home and I didn't reply. My friend used my phone and called him to tell him her husband would bring me home but he said no, I will come get her.
