What I can't understand now is why he still DOES NOT want to work on the marriage? I think he's having a MLC.
EA,
Assuming you married a man with at least SOME character and honor, he must have had to work pretty hard to get to a place in his head that justified his feelings towards his therapist. These are not going to go away so quickly. He has both physiological residue (PEAs/dopamine/"looove" chemicals) and emotional residue (resentment, entitlement) that he's going to have to deal with, and it's going to take a good MC -- preferably one with experience in dealing with infidelity -- to work thru it with you.
It's a catch-22 of piecing/reconciliation, unfortunately. You gotta "wanna" for it to have a chance to keep no-contact (w/OW) going, and you gotta keep no-contact with OW going in order for you to "wanna."
Just watch his moods. At this stage, "GOOD = BAD" and "BAD = GOOD."
