d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

Maybe alittle too late, but I'm proud of myself. I had my cell phone turned off all day yesterday. I didn't want to see any texts from H. Well I finally turned it back on last night right after D4 went to bed. Sure enough, he had texted me during his lunch break. Letting me know that he has to work O.T. saturday for 8 hours. It seems that he always has to work when it's "his weekend" with our D4.

I don't really mind though, at least I know that D4 will be with me and we can mow lawn together. D and me and her doll's. Ha-ha.

I would normally answer him right away, but even last night I didn't answer him. Why? I'm afraid I would try to start a conversation only to be ignored. I'm surprised that he didn't text me again, asking me if I got his first one. Who knows maybe today. But also doesn't really matter, he will get D4 from daycare and bring her home @ 6pm.

I get confused when I read on other posts sometimes, so what do you think of the below issue?

I always used to take care of all the bills, and inside chores, heck I even fixed the furnace a couple of times. H didn't want to mess with it. I was too cheap to call a repair guy so I remembered reading something from the Family Hanyman magazine and I fixed myself. H took care of outside chores, cows, mowing, house repair. H knows that I've been taking care of all without him. What do you all think? Should I be needy and ask him for help with mowing? (that's all there is) and maybe carrying cow feed bags to the barn?

I'm not sure because when he left us he said that this place always needs something. He was tired of doing all the work outside by himself ! Our house to him felt like a prison (that's what he said in February)

I get confused, do I act needy and ask for his help or for his suggestions on how to do things or do I just show him that I can do it all by myself?

I remember before he left and having his issues. He used to tell me that he was stupid and can't do anything right. Everything he touches he screws up on. (he was always told this by his father i found out). I always was there to try to boost his self esteem. I always thanked him for everything he he had ever done for me. Like I used to tell him, this is your house so practice on our house until you are satisfied then when you go out and side job someone else's house you'll have it down and perfected. He'd just say yeah.

If you have any suggestions on the need you/not need you please help - 17 days left.

Or do I just throw up my hands in the air and say I'm done??

I'm as confused as he is.