Did your H make an attempt to change after you told him you wanted a D? If so, did you let him or were you just done? Would anything your H could have done at that point have made a difference?
I had told my exh way before I had the affair or asked for divorce that I would do one of the two if he didn't start working on our marriage. We'd been doing a dance for years. I would ask to have needs met and he would tell me he didn't have time (he pursued hobbies instead). I asked for counseling, etc. He would say he would change and it wouldn't last long. So this would have been I think the 15th or 16th chance.
If there was something he could have done I can't think of what that might be- he tried different things- begging and pleading- which didn't work- and calling me all kinds of names etc.
He and his family made my life a living nightmare. I couldn't run into someone from high school at the grocery who was unaware of what I had done (my exinlaws were prominent in the community). I think they forgot how tough I really was- and all their mistreatment just pushed me in the other direction.
I was done- but I made my own way. There was none of this be separated in the same house because I couldn't afford to do what I wanted to do. I got my own place and moved out. I didn't drag it out. In my opinion you don't get to separate or divorce and live in the same house- that's crazy. Just my opinion- but if a WAS wants to separate then they need to be big enough to just do it.
