. . . W wants to talk to me more and wants to know why I will talk to others about us but not her.
Tell her "I'm willing to discuss any and all issues -- including mine. End your affair, and we'll talk."
You should refuse to discuss your R with her as long as there is a third person in the marriage. If she keeps bugging you about what you've discussed with OMW, just say "I don't want to tell you. I'm doing what I feel I need to do to protect myself."
